Ambiguous
by AubergineStorm
Summary: Katara looses herself after a tragedy and the least expected person has come to help her heal. Full summary inside. Read and Review.
1. Scrolls

_**Full summary: Not long after Sozin's comet, it seems like it would take more than defeating the former fire lord to restore peace in their hearts. Katara looses herself after a tragedy and the least expected person has come to help her heal. In the mean time, other problems surface. Will peace really reign again? **_

_**Authors note: My first Avatar fic, feedback is well appreciated! **_

Katara sat contentedly under the shade of a tree with her legs crossed under her. She leaned on the study bark and grinned as she watched Suki feed the turtle-ducks. As one of them neared the edge of the pond, Toph reached out to jab the creature in the face. A tiny wave rolled the duck away and it squeaked as it tried to regain its balance. Katara glared and Toph, but she just grinned back. Despite the occasional quack from one of the ducks, the palace was oddly quiet. Katara sighed and her eyes fluttered shut. She smiled to herself as she thought of how she would have reacted if she had been here in the time of the war. She used to flinch at every sound the echoed through her ears. There was no screaming, or crying anymore. All she heard was the sound of the water as it rolled beneath the ducks.

"I'm bored." Toph announced, flopping onto the carpet grass. No one answered. Suki sat quietly feeding the eager animals while Katara basked in the peaceful silence. But they were all content.

-

Zuko squinted at the stacks of scrolls on his desk. Each day there seemed to be more and more scrolls; it almost seemed as if they were multiplying on their own. There were scrolls from all the nations. Each problem had to be solved carefully, considering every tiny little detail. He had been doing this all morning. Zuko massaged his throbbing head and groaned.

"Sire, are you alright?" The guard from the door poked his head in. Zuko jumped then paused to laugh.

"Yes, I am. Thank you." He replied, picking up his brush again.

"Would you like some tea?" The guard offered. Zuko looked up and considered it.

"Ahh, that would be refreshing, thank you." Zuko nodded. The guard smiled, bowing slightly and walking away to carry out the order. Zuko heaved a sigh and leaned onto the back rest of his chair. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. He stilled for a few dragged moments before sitting up and picking up the nearest water tribe scroll. He removed the copper ring and unrolled the scroll. Zuko's breath hitched, and his face hardened. He read the letter once more, praying to the spirits this was some kind of joke. It wasn't.

Zuko stood abruptly, scroll in hand he set out to look for Sokka.

-

Katara stretched her stiff limbs and grinned playfully. Toph had fallen asleep, while Suki was picking at a flower. Suki glanced at Katara and raised an eyebrow. She brought a finger to her lips and crouched down. With a flick of her hand, she sent half the pond water flying to Toph. The earth bender screeched and jumped up with a start. Katara and Suki burst out into fits of giggles. Toph flipped her fringe off her face and with a swift stroke of her hand she sent a huge boulder speeding towards the both girls. Katara's eyes sparkled. She twirled out of the way without a single hair out of place. Suki whipped out her underused fan and sliced the charging earth in two. Toph let out a laugh. Katara smiled, lifting both her hands she blasted a wave of water at Suki, a few ducks swam on the wave, only to crash onto the carpet grass. They waddled back into the almost empty pond, disappointed. Suki gasped and glance down at her clothes, dripping wet.

Toph laughed and the earth beneath her trembled. The Kyoshi warrior was thrown off balance and she lay flat on the grass. Katara raised her eyebrows and stopped laughing. After a few moments, Suki groaned.

"I give up." She laughed, poking a finger to the sky. Katara opened her mouth to answer but was cut off by a loud, gruff voice.

"Madame, the Fire Lord would like to see you." The guard announced. Toph placed her hands on her hip.

"What, I'm not invited?" She huffed. The guard looked at her and shook his head slightly. Suki laughed.

"I am to lead you there, Madame." He continued. Katara glanced at her two friends before shrugging and trailing after the guard. She heard Toph complain.

"So now he gets to order us around?"

-

Katara marvelled at the enormous pillars that held the palace in place. She still hadn't gotten used to all the luxury. Back home in the South Pole everything was ice. Katara bet that if the entire palace was turned to ice it'd be much, much grander that it already is. She smiled to herself. The guard opened the decorated doors and bowed. Katara wondered if she should curtsey, but the look on her brother's face sent shivers down her spine. She frowned and stepped into the room.

Sokka was sitting, crumpled on the antique wooden chair in Zuko's study. His shoulders were hunched over his knees and he sat silent on one corner. Katara sucked in a deep breath. She turned to look at the Fire Lord who sat at his desk, hands on his temples, silent just like her brother. Katara opened her mouth to speak but was stopped when Zuko stood up and walked over to her. Sokka didn't move. Katara frowned and studied his face. Zuko looked away as he held out a scroll to her. Frightened, unsure if she should take it, Katara kept her hands by her side. Zuko ran his free hand through his hair.

"It's from your tribe." Zuko's voice was low. It was lower than Katara remembered. _My tribe?_

Taking the scroll she removed the copper ring off the paper and unrolled it slowly.

"_Please tell my children," _it began, _"that their grandmother died yesterday, on the Eight day of the Fifth Lunar Month. She died three days after I returned home. She looks a lot thinner from when I first left. She died from a high fever. Master Pakku says the funeral should be held as soon as possible but we will try to wait for you. There are only the two of us at home now, Pakku and I, and he cries a lot. Please tell my children to come home as soon as they can. Sincerely, Hadoka._

The room was still. It seemed as if no one was breathing.

The tortured silence was broken by the sound of sobbing, choked and muffled. For a moment Katara thought she was crying, but then she recognized the familiar sobs coming from her brother. She felt her throat tighten.

"I'm sorry," Zuko mumbled, his arms hanging from his sides. Like a useless rubber doll. He clenched his fist as he watched the water bender read the letter, over and over again. She was quiet and still. Sokka was crying openly now, his face a pained grimace. Katara wished she could cry like that. Zuko felt things in his chest he never thought he's ever feel. His heart tightened as he watched Katara's lower lip tremble slightly. It was torturing. Katara stood up and walked to the window where the potted orchid hung. She watched Suki and Toph laugh with each other. Everything has changed, Katara thought, and yet nothing has changed. She reached for the single orchid in bloom above her, and twisted it off its stem. Petal by delicate petal, she crushed it between her fingers and dropped it to the floor.


	2. Mourning

Katara clutched the letter in her gloved hands and pressed on. The icy winds pierced her ears and nose. She was going home.

Sokka, Suki and Zuko were still way behind. Katara paused for a moment and glanced behind. Sokka was fanning his face while Suki was trying to pick something off his eye. They were hand in hand. Suki had come all the way just to be with him, to be there for him. She knows he needs her. Zuko stopped when he reached the water bender and followed her gaze. His hair blew in the wind and smack Katara across her face. She shoved him and pressed on. Zuko opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. Instead, he sighed and trailed after her.

Katara despised the fact that Zuko had to come along. He was interfering with her personal affairs. Didn't he have other things to do? He claimed that he had other things to do in their tribe, like send food supplies and help. It could be true, but did he really have to come all the way to the other side of the world just to see her like this? Why couldn't Aang come? He has stuff to do too, Katara thought bitterly. From where she stood, she spotted the village, a trail of grey smoke spewing from one of the towers Sokka had built. Funny it was still there. Katara quickened her steps. She could imagine Grangran hobbling out of one of their tents, welcoming her with open arms. And Master Pakku would be there too, standing behind her, looking at her like she was the loveliest creature. That she was.

Suddenly Katara's knapsack felt unbearably heavy. No, she thought, not Grangran. Grangran would never ever welcome her with open arms again. She slowed down: what was the point of hurrying home anyway?

Dragging her feet, Katara slowly walked down into the village. It was strangely quiet. Where were all the little children that used to run along the snow and play? She entered the village boundaries and stopped walking. The cloth that was usually rolled up on the windows was let loose. The yard was deserted. It was as if the entire village was in mourning. Katara closed her eyes and held her head. She felt a growing warmth creep up her left shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Zuko asked gently. Katara opened her eyes and shrugged of his hand despite how grateful she was for the warmth. She removed her hood and headed for her house. Zuko glanced behind to see Sokka walking toward him, hand in hand with Suki, his face was hard. This was going to be a long trip, Zuko thought. There was a steady hum of voices that drifted light like the first snow. Katara slipped past the houses and stood behind a tower where she could watch without being seen. Several lamps were lit, and knots of people huddled around a tiny fireplace – mostly women and children. Even though the men were back from the war, Katara didn't see any of them around. Heads bent, their fingers moved swift like running water. Katara frowned. She watched a little boy run into his house to retrieve more cloth. Only then did she understand.

Grangran's funeral would be tomorrow, so soon. The women had gathered to make the final preparations, to sew a new blanket for Grangran to rest on; to fold paper boats and arrange the scarce flowers and candles in each one. And where would Grangran be? She wanted to ask her father, but he wasn't around. She couldn't bring herself to face the throng of people around the fire place either. Katara bit her lower lip and turned to walk back to her house.

Katara flipped the cloth over her head and sighed when heat embraced her face. She looked around and saw Zuko arranging his things beside Sokka's and Suki's. They had left. Zuko looked up and stared at her. Katara looked away, what was with that stare? Sympathy? She didn't need anyone's sympathy. Katara trudged to the middle of the tent and sat down. She removed her bags slowly, along with her coat. When she was finished, she hugged her knees to herself and ducked her head between them.

"They left to help with the preparations." Zuko informed her, his voice closer than she expected. Katara tensed but didn't move. She could feel the warmth of his back pressed against hers. She wanted to cry, and wanted to yell and scream. But the wretched tears just didn't seem to fall. Her shoulders trembled slightly as she tried to cry. It wasn't working.

"I'm sorry, Katara." Zuko said suddenly.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." She snapped, her voice slightly muffled by her knees.

"I know how badly this impacts Sokka, you must feel worse..." Zuko's voice trailed off.

"Cause he's got Suki? And Aang isn't here?" Katara laughed. Zuko remained silent.

"I'm perfectly fine." She informed him.

That night she watched Pakku hold the betrothal necklace he craved for her grandmother close to his heart. Away from the rest of the villages, he rocked silently to himself; his hands muffled the sound of his weeping. Grief has many tastes, but for Katara, that night tasted of mangoes. The unripe mangoes that arrived in crates from the fire nation that afternoon. Watching Pakku tracing the pendants details with a rough finger, Katara crammed handfuls of mango into her mouth so that her grief, too, might be silenced. The unripe mangoes were bitter, and it puckered in her mouth. She chewed them silently until Pakku's shoulders stilled. When the old man lifted his face again, it was twisted into furrows of pain. Breathing deeply, he carefully wrapped the necklace in the bundle of cloth. When he had finished, his face was calm and composed again.

Only then did Katara step out to greet her grandfather.

Zuko watching silently from a distance as Katara sat down next to her bending master, the both of them grateful for the company. None of them spoke, but none of them cried either. Zuko watched as Katara sat quietly, her face calm but her eyes betrayed all emotion. She was upset, she was so upset. Zuko felt a sudden urge to want to protect the little water bender. Zuko sucked in a deep breath and returned back to the tent. Despite being the most important person in the entire village, he felt small and very out of place. He didn't want any special treatment. No, he realized that would be something he'd never get used to. Zuko wanted to help, but right now, he has no idea how to even do so.

The funeral took place the next day, in the afternoon. That morning, Katara helped Pakku bend an ice tomb. They bended the water all around but left the top open. It was crystal clear; Zuko could see the patterns on the blanket when it was put in where Katara's grandmother was to rest. Behind them, Sokka was pestering Hadoka for answers as to how Grangran died. How it started, why it started. Katara listened impassively. It did not matter anymore. Grangran would be shut in ice and the details of how she had died seemed unimportant to her.

Hadoka carried Grangran's limp body to the coffin and gently placed her. He shivered as his hands brushed the ice. Children sprinkled flower petals in her coffin, bowing their heads in respect. Katara was only vaguely aware of the people around her. So that she would not have to look at the coffin, Katara stared at a single complex pattern on the blanket. She felt the blood drain from her face when she spotted a wrinkled big toe underneath the blanket. Lifeless, Katara looked away.

Most of the villagers had joined in the procession; the men were solemn in their woollen coats, the women severe in their jackets. Hadoka stood in front of the rest, with Sokka and Katara close behind. He bowed and murmured a prayer. When he finished, Sokka and Katara did the same.

It was time for the last farewell.

Hadoka stepped forward to the coffin and hesitated. He reached for his mothers face and gently caressed her pale, sunken face. The tears that ran down his face reflected the afternoon sun in Katara's eyes. She clenched her fist and looked away. Hadoka called Sokka to join him. Katara watched her older brother as he, too, stood looking into the coffin. His face was delicate ad open, and in his eyes was a bewildered pain. He did not cry, yet there was darkness over him, as if a passing raincloud had cast a patch of shadow only on him. Sokka took a freshly opened coconut and prayed again. His role as the grandson was to cleanse his grandmother with coconut water, because the clear sweet liquid was pure, untouched by human hand. Gravely he poured a trickle of coconut water into the coffin. When he finished, he looked up and eyes searching for the comfort of his sister.

Katara stepped forward then, and took the coconut from him. Her hand trembled so badly that a few drops of liquid splashed out. She didn't even bother to bend them back in. She could not bear to look at the coffin. This isn't her, she thought fiercely. This is just a shell. My grandmother is free.

Katara steeled herself and looked.

There was really nothing left but an empty shell. Her hair seemed whiter than snow, her face was more gaunt and her protruding feet were bare and bony. Katara poured the water from the coconut down into the icy coffin. She could barely balance herself when she walked back down to where the rest stood. Her father and brother remained still at the coffin as Pakku trudged toward his wife, his face twisted with pain.

Katara left the yard and retreated into her tent. She didn't stay for the closing ceremony. Even when they set her grandmother onto the ocean along with flowers and candles, she stayed away. She did not want to mourn, she did not want to brood. She was gone; no amount of mourning would bring her back.

Relentlessly, Katara forced herself to work. In the year that she had been away the village had crumbled to bits of ice and snow. She built a new watch tower that took a few hours, she made the base and made sure everything was stable, lest it should fall. She had many things to rebuild. And she set about each task with fierce energy. Sometimes, caught up with her work, she would look up and notice others sitting idly about, and glare at the accusingly. She spotted Sokka sitting in a corner playing with a bit of snow.

"What are you doing?" She demanded.

"Nothing."

"Well, why don't you do something?"

"Like what?" Sokka asked timidly, watching his sisters fiery eyes bore into his.

Katara bent the bit of snow he was leaning on into water and into an earthenware jar. Sokka tumbled backwards.

"I don't care!" Katara cried, "Just don't sit there!" With clenched fists, she stalked off.

"Why is she always like that now?" Katara heard him ask Pakku "is she angry?"

"No, child." Her master said, "She's just determined not to be sad."

_Drop a review!_


	3. Tantalizing

Zuko carried more firewood into the yard and placed them with the others he had collected. When he was satisfied with the amount, he set it ablaze. He stared into the flickering flames and thought of Mai. She refused to follow him when he asked her to join her. No, she preferred to stay in the comfort of her home. Zuko sighed; he wondered if he missed her. Then again if he did he wouldn't be wondering if he did. He mentally kicked himself.

"What, do you think you're doing?" Zuko stiffened as he heard Katara's eerie voice crawl up his neck. Before he could even answer, she flew into a bursting rage.

"I need this ice!" She jabbed a finger at the melting ice around the fire. Zuko opened his mouth to tell her that there was plenty of ice around, after all this was the South Pole.

"You come here, and all you do is mess up everything!" Katara yelled, bending snow around the flames to extinguish it. Zuko clenched his fist.

"What is your issue?" He roared. Katara froze for a fraction of a second, no one had yelled at her since she returned.

"You!" She retorted. Zuko breathed and a tiny flame burst out of his nostrils.

"You think that just because you're so upset you have the right to throw your temper around? Look at yourself! Why are you blaming everyone for something they weren't even responsible for! Why are you finding every reason to yell at someone? Look at your own brother! Isn't he upset enough? Why does he have to deal with your nonsense too! Why does anyone, for that matter have to deal with you and your temper? There is ice everywhere; this is the blasting South Pole! Must you come all the way here to yell at me for melting, let's say, one billionth or less of the ice here?" Zuko exploded and the words tumbled out of his mouth like he was reciting a speech. Katara tensed. Zuko regretted it the instant he said it, he opened his mouth to apologize, but she walked away. Zuko let out a growl and slapped himself on his forehead. He was one heck of a Fire Lord.

Suki couldn't help but feel Sokka's immense pain. She stared at him from afar watching him play with bits of snow, watching them melt in the warmth of his palm. Suki straightened her back and strode over to her boyfriend. Quietly she sat down next to him and kept still. He stopped playing with the snow, his hands dangling off his knees and his face, harder than the blade of a sword. Wordlessly, she gently took his left hand and wringed her fingers through his. It was frightening how the goofy boy she fell in love with had transformed into a sullen, quiet one.

"Hey..." She murmured, cocking her head to see his. He sniffed hard and his nose flushed pink. Suki felt her heartstrings tug violently. She stood up, not letting his hand go.

"Come on; let's go find something to do alright?" She forced a smile. He allowed her to drag him to his feet, but as soon as he stood up, he wouldn't bulge. Suki stopped and turned to look at him. She suppressed how upset she was and stepped close to Sokka. She lifted her free hand and softly caressed a side of his head.

"I love you," She whispered. Sokka brow knitted and his lower lip trembled. Suki pulled him into a tight hug, not being able to bear with the strong emotions he was throwing at her. Sokka's head collapsed on her shoulder and his entire self trembled. Suki squeezed her eyes shut and held on to him. Sokka was falling apart, she thought. He sobbed uncontrollably. Suki felt her nose pucker and she failed to control the tiny droplets of water that fell onto Sokka's jacket.

Zuko skimmed through the contents of the scroll in his hands.

"Sire, where do I put this?" A worker enquired. Zuko paused to read the label on the heavy, wooden box and jerked his head in the direction.

"Blankets and clothes, that way." He replied. The worker bowed and carried on his task. Zuko directed each worker to his designated spot with great patience. Twice, the order had been mixed up and Zuko shook it off his shoulder like a little bug. He had to time, or energy to be angry. It was the third ship that had arrived, Zuko turned to look at the Southern Water Tribe and a tiny smile crept up his lips. It was being restored to its former glory, before the war. He swung around to return to his job when a familiar face startled him.

"Katara!" he exclaimed, wondering if he should apologize. She held out a fresh coconut to him and forced it into his hands. With that, she stalked away. Zuko was left standing, eyes wide with a fresh coconut in his hands. He smiled to himself, drinking the juice gratefully. Does this mean she isn't angry anymore?

Katara hated Zuko for telling her exactly what she needed to hear and hated herself for acting so tremendously childish. She slipped away quietly to the place she and Aang first went penguin sleighing. She pulled out a fish and tossed it to the birds. She smiled. Sitting down, she sighed. She wondered how long this would drag on, how long her brother was going to keep crying. How long it would take for Aang to find out that she had left the Fire Nation. How long it would take him to realize how terrible miserable she was here, alone.

Zuko was right. Seeing Sokka with Suki just added to her anger. She wasn't angry that they were together. No, she was grateful Suki was there to help her brother survive through this time. But she was angry, for not having that same privilege. Why couldn't Aang stop everything he was doing to come to her? No, that would be selfish. But it was exactly what Katara wanted. Someone to cry on, someone to confide in. Was that too much to ask? Zuko didn't bring Mai along. But he didn't need her now, no, this had absolutely nothing to do with him. Katara gazed up and spotted the Fire Nation ship. The one that had anchored on their shores, the one who had destroyed their village and taken some of her tribe. But that was all over. Katara stood gazing at the Fire Nation ship and examined the Fire Nation emblem.

There was a crackling roar like fierce thunder that resounded through the cold thin air. Katara jumped back into a bending stance and whipped her head around.

Zuko.

Katara stilled as she watched his swift movements. Arms and body like one, he delivered a hard blow with a single jerk of his arm. Katara panicked as she saw the light swim towards her.

_Move, Katara! Move, run! Now!_

Her legs wouldn't obey. Zuko was attacking her?

The fierce power missed her form by a hand when it collided into the big hunk of metal behind the water bender. Katara swung around and watched in horror as the ancient Fire Nation ship was crushed in more places than one. The thick ice holding it gave way. Katara cringed at the crack and watched as the ship sank into the depths of the South Pole. She stood, gaping at the rippling water.

"What do you think you're doing?" Katara jerked around and yelled, fists clenched.

"It's a Fire Nation battle ship, something no one should have to see now." Zuko stated, walking towards her.

"No, it's significant to my tribe's history. And you just ruined it!" Katara accused, knowing so well that it was the stupidest excuse she could think of. Significant to the tribe? Everyone gets nightmares upon the sight of the battle ship. It was right to destroy it.

Katara clenched her teeth and bended ice towards the Fire Lord; holding his entire lower body in place. Zuko's eyes widened, but the ice melted in vain. Katara's lips drew a tight line as she swung around, hands moving like the momentum of the waves crashing on the sea bed. Every wave of her hand sent hard crushing ice flying at Zuko. He crouched low, eyeing the angry water bender. Zuko spun on his hands releasing the fire from his limbs, directing them at Katara. Katara bended water and extinguished the fire, her anger growing. Raising her hands, the ice around Zuko encased him in a wintery prison. Zuko lashed at the thick ice wall with his fire and it melted in defeat. Katara ran to him, whipping him with water every chance she had. To her annoyance, he blocked every single blow with ease. She clenched her fist and flew at him with all the strength she had left, aiming at his right shoulder.

Zuko caught her small hand in his warm one. A physical attack?

"Stop it." He muttered, gazing at her sapphire eyes. A tiny trickle of sweat ran down her forehead and she drew in a ragged breath.

Katara throat clenched. She couldn't remember Zuko being this tall. Her eyes only came up to his shoulder. She couldn't remember him being this strong. She couldn't remember those amber eyes that bore into hers with such intensity. Katara exhaled slowly, a white cloud forming near her mouth. Her hand was starting to feel warm while the rest of her body was shivering with effort. He was so warm. Even when he didn't even try.

Katara's eyes flickered towards his lips and held her breath when she realized how tantalizingly close he was.

_If you do read this story and follow the chapters, please review! It helps me write knowing there are people actually reading it. _


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